Ask Mama Jenn-continued

8/31/00
Dear Mama Jenn,
I am seeking an AB sitter or parent. I have posted ads and received several answers but now what. I have to go to their home. What kind of precautions should I take? Is it safe? I am a little scared, what can I expect?

Any and all help would be greatly appreciated!
Mattie

Dearest Mattie,
Mama has noticed that you've registered as a babysitter for AB's as well. Mama well understands your fears going into a stranger's home for the first time. Baby Mattie is rightfully worried about what might happen and how she might handle any problem that might arise.

First: Make sure that someone knows exactly where and when you are going! It can be a friend on the Internet that you trust or anyone else. Make sure that there is a written message that the police can find if you are missing for more than twenty-four hours (or whatever time you deem is appropriate). List the name, address and phone number of your intended destination as well as the purpose, date, and means of travel; like the airline, train, bus ticket number, or your own automobile (With ID numbers like the manufacturer, year, model, color and license plate of your car, if you are driving your own vehicle. The vehicle ID number found on the inside of the driver's side doorjamb or on the left side of the dashboard is good to include too.) Include a recent photo of yourself as well as a detailed description of what you intended to wear when you left your house or apartment. (If you have photo's of you wearing your outfit, include them as well.) List your dentist's name, phone, and business address on the note as well as your personal physician's data and your nearest relative's emergency phone number as well as the email address of your friend.)

If your visit is a result of a long email correspondence, save all the emails to a known good floppy disk along with a shortcut to the Website of the person and place it with your note and photos. Check the disk and make sure that you can open every email on it. The quality control on floppies has become extremely poor of late.

Remember: If you are merely kidnapped, rather than murdered, your note will provide valuable evidence for the police to trace you!

Second: When you arrive at your destination, make direct and repeated eye contact with your babysitter. This is of paramount importance! Psychological and historical studies of terrorists and abductors have repeatedly shown that the "Stockholm Syndrome" of adductees who form attachments to their abductors works the other way around as well. In other words, once eye contact is formed with an AB, the "babysitter" will subconsciously assume the role of parent and caretaker of the baby, no matter what his or her original intentions. Terrorist training groups have become so aware of this problem with hostage-taking, that they train the terrorists to place black hoods without eyeholes over their captive's eyes so eye contact cannot be formed. Beware of and don't play any "baby" games using hoods! Hoods are not a part of normal baby play!

Try to position yourself lower on the floor respective to your caregiver. Look up with the widest eyes that you can manage. This will further enhance your look of helpless innocence and should induce the "DNA hard-wired" reflex response of protectiveness from the limbic area of the caretaker's brain. Later on, suck your pacifier, thumb or bottle to enlarge your cheeks so that your face takes on a more baby-like appearance.

Third: Don't carry more money than you need! Don't carry credit cards, expensive watches or adult jewelry! Leave them at home in a box in your dresser along with your "failsafe" note to the police.

Fourth: If you are really frightened, don't go! If you feel the need for a weapon, then buy a hard-back edition of Winnie-the-Poo! If a person is struck with strength with the bound edge of the book across the bridge of the nose, the bones of nose will usually break, causing the wayward caregiver to stop so that you can escape. If you feel a need for more aggressive tactics, Mama Jenn suggests that you consult a self-defense or martial arts expert. Winnie-the-Poo's book can do a lot more than just bloody a nose! Winnie-the-Poo has always been the friend of both babies and nannies alike!

Fifth: Women in general are more at risk to assault than men. Two women are safer than one. ABs don't seem to have historically attracted deranged or serial killers so the likelihood of attack from that source is marginal to slim.

For Babysitters: Mama can't remember a single historical case of a deranged or serial killer that pretended to be an AB, but there is always a first time! Carry a hard-bound, beddie-bye story book in your diaper bag when you pay a visit just in case baby needs a soothing story or you need an escape!

Love and Kisses,
Mama Jenn

8/30/00
Dear Mommy
I want to wet my bed at night and did read your advice on how to do that. I was wondering. . . . 1. Exactly how well the hypnotic tapes from DPF worked? 2. You mentioned finding a stage hypnotist to help in ones endeavor to wet the bed, how would I go about doing that, and do you know any that would be willing to help me?
Baby Benji

Dear Baby Benji,

Whether the tapes work on you or not depends on a number of factors, for example: If you have higher then normal intelligence (which statistically, most ABs have), then you are more susceptible to hypnosis. Have you ever driven at night and had the stripes on the highway mesmerize you to the extent that you had a short mental blackout when your mind went on "autopilot"? Do ever you focus on music, TV, comics or books to the extent that the rest of the world is blotted out? Are you at ease letting someone else tell you a story? If you close your eyes during the story, can you easily visualize the story that's being told? Can you relax easily or whenever you want or need to relax? If the answer to most of the above questions is "yes", then you are a good candidate for hypnosis.

Do you have a quiet place or room where you can read, play with your toys or engage in a peaceful activity BEFORE bedtime to listen to the tapes? (If you listen to them at bedtime, you'll probably fall asleep well before the tape is finished.) Do you have the time to listen to the tapes for a minimum of twenty-one consecutive days? (Numerous studies have shown that it takes a minimum of twenty-one days to set up a new mental or physical habit.) Would you be able to play the subliminal tapes during the day and while you sleep to reinforce the new pattern of behavior that you are attempting to create?

Are you willing to modify your regular potty behaviors to retrain your bladder? In other words, could you adopt a regimen of going to the potty EVERY time you feel the slightest need or would business needs force you to hold it in until such time as you could excuse yourself to go to the toilet? (If you practice this, you will almost certainly have to start wearing some protection against leaking or dribbling during the day if you fail to get to the toilet on time!)

Have you ever tried catnip tea to relax your bladder sphincters? Or eating watermelon before bedtime to make yourself pee more? (Watermelon is a safe, natural diuretic.) Have you tried setting your alarm to wake you in the middle of the night and then deliberately peeing in your diapers before going back to bed in warm, soggy diapers? (This will help your subconscious get used to the feeling of wet diapers while you sleep.) You can also purchase an electronic "pink noise" generator that makes the sound of rushing water to play while you sleep.

Baby Benji, hypnosis tapes usually won't work alone (even if you are susceptible to hypnosis) unless you are willing to modify other behaviors and help your body make the transition. Preparing your body by using herbs like catnip tea and watermelon to make it easier to pee helps enormously, just as wetting your diapers deliberately during the night helps. At some point, your body will begin peeing in your already wet diaper just before morning. A few people can make the transition easily with tapes alone, but the majority of people won't see an effect on their nocturnal wetting without the other techniques that Mama cited above.

Mama doesn't know where you live so she would have no idea of who is performing in your area. Your local phone book yellow pages, as well as the following URLs can help you find a hypnotist in your area.

Stage Hypnotists on the World Wide Web. This is the most comprehensive list available of professional stage hypnotists with home pages on the Web.

STAGE HYPNOTIST PERFORMERS DIRECTORY: This is an old, non-updated archive edition of Russ Sage's complete list of hypnotic performers. (The WWW list above is much more complete and comprehensive - albeit it does not list performers who are not on the web.)

The same strategies Mama outlined above for tapes apply to professional hypnotists. Stage hypnotists can keep you awake, but it may require several visits with the hypnotist to implant the new behavior. It is also possible to use the human hypnotist to implant post-hypnotic suggestions that the tapes will work so that you will fall into a deep hypnotic state when you listen to the tapes (other than subliminal) and relearn to wet during sleep. If you have the money for both tapes and a live human hypnotist, this is the best strategy. In the long run, a single visit with the hypnotist, along with the tapes, the herbs, the noise generator and potty behavior modification, both day and night, is the cheapest and most effective solution.

Mama is familiar with a number of methods that the CIA found to infantilize people to induce permanent bedwetting, but they are hideously expensive as well as far too dangerous for Mama to discuss openly.

You can relearn to wet your dipees at night, Sweetheart! It just takes time and perseverance. You wet yourself nightly at one period in your life and you can do it again!

Love and Kisses,
Mama Jenn

8/27/00
hey mama jen
I wanna no me 17 year old baby i wanna no if it ok to poop in my diapers in school i wanna but my mommie says cant because i would be a stinky wittle baby but me wanna casue me no like using toilet could u tell me what u think ur reply would be much appreciated tank u momma jen:)
Baby Christopher

Dear Baby Christopher,

Your Mommy is right. Mama understands your desire to make poopies all the time as well as your dislike of potties, but making a poopy in school would disturb the other students as well as your teacher's lesson. It would be both rude and naughty of you to make messes in class. Either hold it in or use the potty, Sweetheart, there are other people's feelings to consider.

Love and Kisses,
Mama Jenn

8/27/00
Dear Mama Jenn
I is a 3 year old lil girl, but evrything i see and hear about is mostly for lil boys, or for lil boys who pwetend they is girls. I is sad, cuz I don't know nobody who is like me, or any mommy's who want a lil girl instead of a lil boy. How does me find someone to takes care of me. I is in Canada, and don't know no one at all.
Can you hewp me?
luv lil chelsea

Dear Little Chelsea,

There are plenty of Mommies and Daddies who would love to adopt a real three-year-old-toddler AB, even in Canada. It's just a matter of finding them. Have you tried writing a message on our personals board or DPF's message board? Joining DPF's Babyclub is also an option. If you joined the Babyclub, you would receive a list of everyone in your area who wants to adopt a baby girl. Frankly, Sweetheart, the demand to adopt baby girls like you far exceeds the supply. You can be very picky about choosing the right Mommy or Daddy for you.

Hugs and kisses for a sweet little baby girl,
Mama Jenn

8/27/00
Hi again!
Thankyou for your response on how to best punish Tommy for his recent antics. Along with what you suggested, I have also taken away all his big boy priveleges a week. He is back in diapers, 24:7, (much to his dissaproval) for one week, as well as being made to drink from a bottle instead of his tippy cup. This shows him that being devious behind my back does make him a big smart boy - quite the opposite. I don't think he will be trying it again.....

You asked for the update on his bedtime situation. Well, I have successfully adopted your strategy (diapers - 8pm, training pants - 8.30pm and big boy underwear - 9.30pm) The 9.30pm hasn't happened yet, and I don't imagine it will! Tommy natrually thinks this "sucks" but as much as he may whine, it is now the rules, and he knows if he can stay dry, then he can stay up!

So there you go Mama Jenn... the latest update on my little guy. As for his complaints regarding the locking diaper pins - well, I was contemplating leaving them off a while back, and seeing if I could trust him again - but now, I think he has proved I can't!

Bye For Now,
BabysitterC

Dear BabysitterC,

Thank you for the update on your little one. I'm pleased to hear that your response to your baby's naughtiness was so reasonable and measured. There are times when one is tempted to go overboard when babies like yours misbehave that it's difficult to keep one's perspective.

Setting up firm rules for little ones is an art form. The trick is to make reasonable rules that even a baby can understand. His rewards must be tied to his behavior. If he misbehaves or behaves like a baby, he should be expected to be treated like a baby. If he behaves like a toddler, he will be treated like an older baby. And if he wants to be treated like a "big boy", he must earn "big boy" privileges by acting like one.

Mama thinks that you're doing a GREAT job as his babysitter!
Mama Jenn

8/23/00
Dear Mama Jenn,
I've just recently let a few other people know about my love for diapers and being an AB. I'm normaly a very shy baby, which not only makes it hard for me to meet women but next to impossiable to find a mommy. Do you have any tips besides the one's in your "how to find a babysitter for an adult baby" section? I can't afford to hire anyone and am to shy to ask any one face to face. Please help me Mama
Baby Bri Bri,
Salt Lake City, UT

PS: if you know any mommies looking for a baby in my area? Will you please tell them about me?

Dearest Bri-Bri,
Have you considered going to an Adult Baby party? Have you tried the message boards and personal ads on our site as well as the DPF site? Mama Jenn is positive that both Mommy Angel (mailto:mommy4ab@yahoo.com) or Mommy Leslie (mailto:loveshell99@yahoo.com) would enjoy exchanging emails with you. Neither of them are professionals or charge for their services. Writing them might help you get over your shyness. Do you know anyone who's having a baby shower? If so, it's very popular nowadays to have a grown man come to the shower dressed like a baby where all the women can ahh and coo over him. Halloween (Samhain) is coming up soon, have you considered going to a costume party dressed as a baby? After that, a New Year's party is a good place to dress up as a baby.

Joining baby clubs can give you names and email addresses of people who you might like to meet too. Mama knows just how difficult it is for you to meet potential mommies. But baby has to keep trying if he's going to find one!

Good luck, Sweetbottoms! Mama wishes that you will find a Mommy soon!
Mama Jenn

Postscriptum: Mama Jenn wants you to know that she thinks that Bri-Bri is the sweetest of all baby names she can think of. Love and Kisses, Mama Jenn

8/23/00
Hi Mama Jenn
I frankly couldn't believe my eyes when I went to read you page at the weekend, only to discover that my "Little Tommy" had been writing to you and asking for your advice on ways to get out of his locking diaper pins! I don't even allow him near the computer, so the young tyke must have sneaked on whilst I was out. It seems as if all the naughty AB's are doing it, what with Bootsie and Susan as well! Anyway, I wanted to thank you for NOT encouraging his naughty behaviour, and I shall now have to think of a suitable punishment for both his use of the computer without permission, and the attempts to take off his diapers! Suggestions welcome Mama Jenn.
BabysitterC

Dear BabysitterC,
Oh my! I had no idea that it was your baby boy who wrote me. His referral to you as his Mommy fooled me. Mama Jenn has a strict policy of not helping babies act in naughty ways and reproving them for thinking naughty thoughts. I try to stop little ones from misbehaving before their little bottoms get warmed by their caretakers. You can rest assured that your parental authority will never to be questioned by Mama Jenn. Your discovery of you wayward little one's naughty behavior underscores why parents or babysitters of ABs or big babies should read my column on a regular basis!

Instead of spanking him (although slapping the little hands that touched his babysitter's computer would be appropriate), why not take away ALL of his television privileges for two weeks, one week for each misdemeanor? Also, he will be kept in diapers 24/7 during the two week period no matter what his potty control has been because he has proved that he has self-discipline and behavior of a two-year-old. If he's going to act like a baby, then he will be treated like one!

By the way, you never told Mama Jenn what happened with your baby's beddie-bye time. Did you try Mama's advice? Did it work out? Since little Tommy has been naughty, Mama would like to hear about how everything works out!

Sincerely,
Mama Jenn

8/21/00
Dear Mama Jenn,
Your reply to Bootsie's, my baby husband's, whinging letter has summed up his situation perfectly. He was quite happy for me to have to deal with his messy nappies, but only when he wanted. Now, I am in control and he is not so comfortable. I told him it would be all or nothing, and that is what he has got.

This weekend has been very good. On Saturday, he was very grumpy because he wanted to go and play golf. I told him he could play as long as he was wearing a nice thick nappy, otherwise he may have an accident. Needless to say, he refused so I locked his clubs away. He threw a big tantrum and so I decided to dress him in his new punishment costume. First a nice thick terry nappy and a pair of locking plastic pants. Then a pair of very frilly baby rumba panties, a short baby dress covered in lace and frills and a pair of little booties that have some little bells on. That way I can always hear him as he moves about the house. The whole costume is in a lovely pastel yellow and he looks very sweet in it.

Despite the impression he gives in his letter, he gave very little opposition to his new baby clothes, so it would seem you were right again. His protestations are just for show, and he is actually very keen to be my big baby. Even dressing him as a baby girl was easy.

Today was even better, his new cot arrived and I made him put it together in the spare room. This has really made his mind spin. As expected, he is torn between his fantasy of being a baby and sleeping in his cot, and the fact that it is impossible to hide from anyone who sees it, that it is far to big for a real baby.

He is currently having his first afternoon nap in it, again there were tears

Dear Susan,

Thank you for writing back and explaining the situation to me. I had a feeling that Bootsie was being less than forthcoming with me. When he wrote me that he had asked you to play his mommy, I got the distinct impression that you had made an "all or nothing" arrangement with him and that he was trying to back out of his agreement.

I notice that he didn't mention that he dirtied nappies as well as wet them. I suspected that he did from the fact that he was wearing them both night and day, but I don't like to call a baby a liar unless I can prove it. Buying him a cot his size was a great idea! Maybe later on you can add an armoire to his nursery so you'll have a place to hang his dresses. A fresh coat of paint and some decorations will help make his new nursery feel like home. He'll feel even more a part of it if you have him do the actual painting and decorating himself under your watchful eye.

If you keep him busy on weekends getting his nursery ready for his grand return to babyhood, he won't have time for adult play and outings like golf. Congratulations on your new baby! Once he settles down, I'm sure that the two of you will be very happy together!

Sincerely,
Mama Jenn

8/19/00
Dear mommy
How would you take me in you arms? It seems to me that you are a lovely mother to all of us aren't you?
Thanks for holding me.
petit bébé

You are very welcome, mon petit bébé!

Usually, I let ABs sit on my lap while I hold them close to my bosom with tender loving concern. I pat their backs with maternal love as they whimper and cry on my shoulder in a catharsis of their pent-up baby emotions. It's been so long since anyone has held them and address their baby needs that almost all of them start wailing or crying in relief the first time that they sit on my lap. Strangely, no matter how big an AB is, he can always fit on my lap. I murmur in their ears that they are good babies and that Mama Jenn loves them as they blubber their woes to Mama. She kisses her babies on the cheek maternally and lets them cry until they've vented their fears and rage so that they can calm down. Mama never takes umberance at a raging AB who pounds his clenched fists anger on her shoulder at how badly the world and his life has treated him. She always draws the AB closer to her and gently rocks him from side-to-side to comfort the abandoned, enraged baby within.

Once a AB has calmed down and has stopped weeping his heart out, a miraculous thing almost always seems to happen. The Abs who sit on my lap begin to shrink and grow younger with every passing minute. At first they get lighter on my lap as they loose weight and their shirts become loose. Their foot size decreases as their bodies take on the shape they had when they were in their early teens, their shoes slither off their socks to clunk on the floor in an untidy pile of smelly leather.

After a few minutes, they look like five-year-olds who are playing "dress up" in their Daddy's clothes. Their pants are so loose on them that I have hold them close to my breasts with my left arm and sweep their oversized pants from under their little bottoms with my right hand to let their pants and underwear slide off their legs onto the floor in a heap, taking their overlarge socks with them. Then I readjust their naked bottoms on my lap and lean them back on my right arm as I unbutton the dress-like tent their shirts have become.

Carefully and lovingly, I work the little boy's shirt down his arms and off his body so I can drop it on the floor on top of his former pants and shoes. I always pick up the discarded clothes later on in the night after I've finished making my baby's formula and juice for breakfast. Once an AB has begun to shrink in my arms, I know that he won't be needing adult clothes for a long, long time.

Next Mama turns the little boy (who now looks like he's between three and four) towards her again and slips her right arm under his little nude bottom to lift him up to her right shoulder. The sweet innocent expression on the newly regressed face of the AB always melts Mama's heart. Men have such a sweet and adorable appearance just after they've been regressed. The look of shocked astonishment and confusion always brings a motherly smile of reassurance to Mama's face.

I place my left arm around his back protectively and hold his head close to my neck as I stand up and carry the naked preschooler to the nursery. By the time we've reached the nursery, the preschooler has regressed to a twelve-month-old baby in my arms. I carry him to the handsome, heavy, oaken changing table and lay him down on his back on the baby blue-colored, waterproof plastic changing pad. I always put my left hand on the baby's tummy to hold him in place while I reach under the table and take a diaper from the stack on the shelf below.

I stand up straight again, flipping the diaper open with one practiced movement of my right hand as I move my left hand down to the baby's ankles and grip the both of them within the fingers of my left hand. Mama gently raises the baby's legs with my left hand until his bottom clears the surface of the changing pad, I slide the fresh diaper beneath his bottom and straighten it before lowering the baby's bottom to the plastic pad again.

Since the baby is never wet or messy, I know that all he needs is a bit of baby powder to make him smell as sweet as he is adorable. I deftly use my thumb and forefinger to twist open the lid of the large container of Johnson's and Johnson's Baby Powder that I keep behind the rail at the back of the changing table. Then I take the container of powder and give the baby a light dusting of powder around his pubes and legs to give him a sweet, vanilla-scented baby aroma before I fasten his diapers.

He always wriggles in pleasure as I use my fingertips to work the soft, absorbent cornstarch into every fold of the skin of his legs and groin. I make kissing noises and expressions to him and tell him what a good baby he is as I draw up the diaper between his legs and spread it out over his tummy. As usual, he gurgles in delight as I fasten each side down with a tension which is not over-tight, but is tight enough to insure that his diapers won't slide off his bottom even if he tosses and turns while he sleeps.

Once my baby boy is secured in his absorbent diapers, I hold him to the table again as I reach down and pick up one of the translucent, frosted, plastic baby pants from the pile that I store next to the stack of diapers on the shelf. I pick up his legs as before, only this time I use both hands as I work his tiny feet through the elasticized leg openings of the baby panties. When I've worked the panties down past his knees to his diapered bottom, I take his ankles in my left hand again and lift him up so I can pull the panties over his thick nighttime diaper. Then I tilt my head to the side and smile at the babe lying so comfortably and adorably on the changing table in front of me. ABs are so cute when they regress to a one-year-old that I can't help but give them a big motherly smile of satisfaction about their change.

The baby coos with pleasure as I place a hand beneath each armpit and lift his entire body up to meet mine. I hold the baby to my shoulder with one palm cupped under his diapered and pantied bottom as I snag a clean blue flannelette baby blanket with two fingers of my other hand from the shelf. Before I carry him to my oaken rocking chair in the corner, I wrap him snuggly in the fleecy blanket.

As I pass the nursery's baby dresser, I pause and reach out to turn on the preloaded CD player on top of the dresser. By the time we reach my rocking chair, the nursery is filled with the soft, soothing sounds of baby lullabies. I sit down in my rocker, and adjust the little baby so that he is resting upright and leaning against my left shoulder and arm. Then I slowly begin to rock the chair while pulling and tucking the soft flannelette of the baby blanket around the limbs and torso of my baby boy to keep him warm and oh so comfortable. Once the chair has reached just the right rate of rocking to lull my baby into a state of absolute contentment, I begin to lightly stroke his face and hair with the fingertips of my right hand while I hum softly in time with the lullaby. I smile down at the serene look on my baby boy's face as it pillows itself on my right bosom. From the expression of contentment on my baby's visage, I know that he's feeling the relaxing vibration of my gentle humming that reverberates from my chest.

Within minutes, Mama's baby boy is asleep and I hold him tight as he drifts into a deep baby slumber. I put my hand on top of the panty that covers the area between his legs and feel a slight warmth radiating up through his diaper. I smile broadly as I bend my head to give baby a quick delicate kiss on top of his forehead without waking him. My little baby has peed his diaper a little just as he began his sleep. I grin maternally when I think about how wet he will be in the morning.

When I am positive that he will not awake during the night, I carry him gently over to the crib and quitely lower the side of the crib before I lay him down on his back. Then I lovingly tuck him in with his blankie before kissing him goodnight on his forehead.

After I turn out the light, I go to the kitchen to prepare my baby's morning bottles of juice and formula. The baby will sleep soundly through the night and be hungry, thirsty and wet in the morning. Mama will be ready for her baby's needs with fresh, dry diapers, clean plastic pants and baby bottles to slake baby's hunger and thirst in the morning. Mama has seen it many, many times before.