How to Plan and Execute an AB Party

 

If little babies can have birthday parties when they are only a year old, why canít ABís have (diaper) parties? Parties are great for meeting other ABís and help to reduce the terrible sense of loneliness and isolation that most ABís feel at some point in their lives. Most large cities have Gay bars to serve as meeting places for the Gay community, but ABís by-in-large, have no sort of support group and tend to live as reclusive individuals within society. Many times, even their wives shun their baby play and attempt to make them feel ridiculous or guilty. Parties can fill the social and psychological gap and help ABís realize that they are not alone and they have nothing to feel guilty about. Here are some tips to organizing and having your own AB party.

Step 1.) Consider Your Resources

The first question you need to ask yourself is what are your resources? Do you live in an apartment? If so, does it have a party hall? Can it be secured for a "private" party? Is it free or is there a fee? Do you rent or own your own home? How many people could you reasonably expect to entertain within your home? Are you going to pay for the party yourself, or ask for donations? (You should expect to pay for decorations, drink and food "upfront" before you can collect any money. Can you afford to lose the money if no one shows up?)

Step 2.) What kind of party do you want to have?

Decide what sort of party you would like. Will it be a potluck dinner with the guests bringing their own food and beverages or are you going to supply food and drink? Will the party have a theme, or is it a simple get together? Will alcohol be served or permitted? Do you have a number of AB friends, or are you going to try and meet new people at your party using Internet resources to draw or invite anyone who wishes to come?

You can use the Chat Room on this site and/or announce your party on the Diaper Pail Friends (DPF) site which offers a free AB party announcement service on their Website. For babies that donít know anyone and are looking for new friends in their (limited) geographic area, these sites may be their best bets. The email address for the announcement is: babytom@well.com

Step 3.) Decide on food and drink

What beverages would you like to serve at your party? Do you want to serve milk, iced tea and sodas, or are you going to have beer and wine? Or do you want to serve something stronger as a special treat? (See Mama Jennís recipe for "Motherís Milk" at the end of this article.). What sort of food do you want to serve? Hamburgers, hot dogs, BBQ, cold cuts, sandwiches are all good options, if not exactly in keeping with a childrenís party theme. Baby food is generally not well liked by adults, so what sort of food could you serve that both toddlers and adults enjoy?

Answer: Pizza! Of course, for desert you could have banana cream pie or chocolate cake (both are toddler and adult favorites).

Note: Some people are allergic to tomato sauce or have problems digesting milk products or cheese, so ask on your invitation to reply with any food sensitivities (including chocolate) with their RSVP. Most delivery Pizza businesses like Dominoís are happy to make pizzas without sauce or cheese if requested. Religious or dietary rules dictated for health reasons may be problematic as well. Pizza is a good choice because vegetarian versions or versions without meat can easily be ordered in small sizes to accommodate guests with particular dietary requirements or restrictions.

Candy Treats found on the web
Big Stuff Pacifier Lollipops - Calm your nerves -- suck on a baby pacifier lollipop! These fruity lollipops will keep you from crying.
Baby Bottle Pops - Lick 'Em! Dip 'Em! Eat 'Em! Pucker up and suck on these tasty baby bottle pops
Big Baby Dips - Cute baby bottles packed full of fruity powder candy
Big Baby Bottle - baby bottles filled with yummy candy
Rugrats Tommy's Bottle candy
Tiny, colorful sweet tarts - in the shape of baby pacifiers!
Baby Climbers - Delicious hard candy sticks with decorative icing babies attached.
Baby Bubblegum buddies - Cute, cuddly, and delicious, these adorable gumballs are decorated with gourmet icing

Step 4.) Costs

In general, a party costs between $15 to $20 per person excluding the cost of decorations; This figure is based on about $7 worth of sandwiches and snacks and about $11 worth of drinks (beer, wine, etc.). Figure two sodas, and or two beers per person for every two hours of party at absolute minimum. (Estimates of costs for theme supplies purchased from a party house are given below under the decorations heading.)

Step 5.) The invitations:

An RSVP is a MUST so you can plan the party, but donít expect that everyone will RSVP. (Make sure you have a bit of extra for the babies that didnít respond. - After all, they ARE babies and babies canít really be trusted to know what RSVP means, Right?) The invitation should include the location and phone number plus directions. Costuming requirements or doís and doníts should be listed as necessary as well as suggested items to bring to the party such as a diaper bag, bottle or sippy cup, diaper changes, baby clothes, toys, binkies, baby books or blankies. Donít forget to include the babyís caretaker in the invitation. (AB parties without any chaperones, Mommies or Daddies tend to get out of hand or noisy fairly quickly.- Especially if alcohol is served.) If the party is potluck and/or BYOB, then the invitation needs to spell it out explicitly. Youíll get better attendance if the invitation describes the partyís "imaginative" theme. If you plan to charge a fee for the party "kitty", declare it on the invitation.

Step 6.) Decide on the ground rules for the party

Ground rules for the party are extremely important. Here are a number of ground rules that have been used at many AB parties. Make sure that the rules are prominently posted and that everyone is aware of the rules and the consequences for breaking them.

    1. Have your guests bring their own diapers and diapering supplies. Make sure that changing facilities will be made available. (Include on the invitation)
    2. Have your guests wear mundane (ordinary) clothes to the party. Provide an area or changing room where your guests can change into baby clothes. If you are using a party room in an apartment complex, tell the management that your amateur theatrical group is having its Annual Awards Party with costumed skits. That excuse should explain any odd reports should anyone happen to see an adult dressed in rompers like a baby while sucking on a baby bottle.
    3. Have your guests bring their own baby bottle or sippy cups for beverages. Asking them to bring their feeding bib is a nice touch too - Especially if youíre having a Barbeque. BBQ sauce is messy! (Include a strong request for each baby to bring his or her own feeding bibs on the invitation because youíre serving BBQ.) Be sure to provide paper labels for the beverage bottle/cups as well as name badges or labels for your guests.
    4. Encourage your guests to bring along their favorite toy, stuffed animal, childrenís or AR (age regression) video or baby book for play and to share with the other babies. Storytelling time by various caretakers can be wonderfully entertaining. (Have their caretakers swap books so that each of them is reading a new story to their particular baby. This is a good activity for later in the party when everyone is winding down.) If the baby has a blankie or binkie, encourage him to bring it to the party and assure him he will not have to share his blankie or binkie. If the baby gets sleepy or tired during the party, you can lay him down for a nap and cover him with his blankie, while tucking his teddy under his arm and putting his binkie in his mouth until heís rested.
    5. Another idea is to have each guest buy a generic (non-sexually oriented) baby toy (under $5-$7) and wrap it to exchange with another random baby (just like school teachers handle Christmas gifts in Grade School). That way everyone will receive their own surprise gift and will have no idea what it will be.
    6. Many guests bring along their female caregivers (wives and girlfriends) to accompany them to your party. No AB should be permitted to ask a woman who is not his caregiver for diaper changing or any other services or favors. If the woman volunteers to perform a favor or service for a baby that is not her own, that is her private business. Sexual harassment should be treated as grounds for asking an AB to leave the party immediately.

f.) Alcohol may be banned.

g.) Sexual activity may be banned.

h.) Tobacco may be banned.

i.) Illegal drugs should always be banned.

j.) No one under the age of eighteen (18) years old should EVER be allowed to attend an AB party that is held by adults! If alcohol is going to be served, than the young participants should be "carded" if they appear to be under twenty-one if state law forbids serving alcohol to persons under twenty-one.

Hint: If you are going to serve alcohol, then make sure that you have room to put a baby to sleep who is "overwrought" from the festivities! Please donít get angry or verbally castigate an adult baby for getting inebriated!!! If adult babies had control over themselves then they wouldnít need diapers and Mommies!! If they overindulge, then inform their caretakers (if any) and if they are sans mama, put them down to nap as if they were your own babies.

A waterproof, padded, folding playmat and a pillow in a quiet carpeted area thatís out of the way should be enough to let the baby sleep off the effects of the party. Cover him with his blankie if he brought it.

If you decide to serve alcohol, purchase several sets of plastic key ring toys for babies. Number each set with a magic marker. If a guest becomes inebriated, take away his car keys and give him a set of baby keys to play with. If the baby came with a caretaker, give his car keys to her so she can drive him home. If he came alone, swap his car keys with the numbered baby keys and label his car keys to match the toy keys. Also, hiding his adult clothes may help dissuade him from going to his car. This technique can be very effective if there are female caregivers present who are willing to help you insist to the baby in no uncertain terms that itís time for his evening nap. There are very few male ABís who can resist the combined will of a number of female caregivers who actively voice the collective opinion that itís time he takes a nap like a good baby. (Especially if all he is wearing is a diaper!)

An alternate idea is to have an AB party and sleepover. Everyone should be asked to bring a blankie, pillow and diaper bag as well as a padded mat for sleeping. (No sleeping bags unless itís cold.) Once everyone arrives, have them swap their car keys for the numbered baby keys. That way everyone has a chance to sober up by morning and no one is singled out to have their keys taken away.

Step 8: Choosing the Party Music:

If you have a theme, then download or buy theme childrenís music to match the theme. If the theme is a simple baby theme, then lullabies or childrenís songs will suffice. If you have lullabies ready, they have the added advantage of quieting a party that is getting too boisterous.

Step 9: The Theme

  1. Use a Nursery Decor or Nursery Rhyme Theme
  2. Use illustrations from a book or calendar with the same theme. Copy the illustrations or photos using a color scanner and printer or go to an Office Supply and have them use a color copier to make place mats, place cards and other paper goods for the party.

  3. Have a New Yearís Eve theme. When midnight comes, have all the babies parade around the room in diapers. This could be cute if combined with an "Over the Hill" theme that magically changes to a Baby theme at midnight. Have one of the babies (or the host of the party) come dressed as Father Time with a long beard and hourglass (with a diaper underneath for the midnight changeover).
  4. Have a Halloween (Samhain) party. Witches, metamorphic changes. Need I say more?
  5. Use a Childrenís cartoon characters as the theme
  6. Suggested Cartoon Characters: Alphabet Fun, Arthur, Barney, Dr. Seuss, First Birthday Adventure, Looney Toons, Mickey Mouse, Rug Rats, Sesame Street, Teletubbies, Winnie the Pooh, etc.

    Note: Wiltonís makes a number of cake molds for childrenís parties featuring the many of the characters from the above groups. If you canít find the mold that youíre looking for from the local Wiltonís supplier, it can be ordered directly from Wiltonís. They have almost all the childrenís cartoon theme characters in inexpensive cake baking pans. Also, they have a number of baby themes pans such as a Teddy Bear with Block Pan, Stand Up Cuddly Bear Pan set, Noahís Ark pan, Rocking Horse Pan and a Mini Stand Up Bear Pan set.

    Their URL is: http://www.wilton.com/

    If you canít bake or cook, find a bakery that can make it for you. Most bakeries can make cakes to match popular cartoon characters.

    Other choices are possible, if it's a Winnie the Pooh theme, the snacks and food might have a honey theme, for example, serve Baklava as a desert. (Warning: Do not feed children under the physiological age of five honey!! - But then, they shouldnít be at an AB party either.). If you choose Barney then you can have a purple theme.

    Go to a party house and price a setting for either sixteen or eight guests. In most cases, a character party setting for eight is about $30 with $2 for each additional guest. A setting for sixteen will cost between $45 and $50. A typical party package includes: plates, napkins, cups, plastic cutlery, balloons, ribbons, and table cover.

  7. A birthday party for an AB:
  8. If the AB is young (under 30) then have a baby birthday party. Or, if the baby is older (30+) you can combine an "Over the Hill" party with a surprise baby party.

    Hint: If you really want to "surprise" your adult baby boy, make or purchase a single Devilís food cupcake and place an "Over the Hill" Centerpiece card on the kitchen or dining room table beside it for him to see when he comes home. Offer your condolences and say that youíve made his favorite meal for him as you light the single black candle stuck in the top of his "birthday cupcake". As he sighs and blows out the candle, have everyone come forth with presents, the centerpiece and his cake. (See below for instructions on how to construct an AB centerpiece Diaper Cake. Note: this is not a real cake but a "gift" cake of useable items for ABís that can be made by his caretaker or contributed to by a community effort of his AB friends.)

  9. Decorating Ideas for a Modified Baby Shower Theme.

1.) Write invitations to local ABs that you know: Buy a bottle of "Big Baby" candies in the nurser container and write, type or use a computer printer to make an invitation on a 20lb weight or heavier piece of white paper thatís 6"-8" x 2 1/2" long and wide. Pen your invitation on the piece of paper and empty the bottle of candies, being sure to remove the advertisement on the outside (or leave it in place, as you wish). Place the rolled invitation into the bottle to unroll against the sides of the bottle. At this point, the bottle should look like itís full of formula. Replace the candies and send to your anticipated guest in a cut-down mailing tube.

2.) Purchase a number of either "Bottle Pop" or Big Baby" candies in their nurser containers. Bottle Pop is the most realistic nurser and is perfect for this application. Empty the contents into a bowl, then wash carefully both inside and out before filling 3/4 full with either water or punch,. Freeze and use like ice cubes in the party punch.

3.) Go to a party store and look for confetti shaped like baby bottles and pacifiers intended for baby showers. Scatter the confetti on the food and beverages table.

4.) Purchase "Ringpop", "Bottle Pop" or Big Baby" candies to give away as party favors.

  1. Make a "diaper cup" to hold mints or salted, sweetened nuts (if beer is served) for each of the guests. To make the cups; cut a small triangle of white felt and immerse into an old coffee can 1/3 full of liquid canning paraffin. Using tongs to take the hot felt from the can, mold it around the bottom of a narrow glass and pin together like an old fashioned diaper with a tiny, gold-colored safety pin.
  1. Inexpensive "edible" pacifier party favors can be made by "gluing" two wintergreen lifesaver candies and a jelly bean together. Make a small batch of Royal Icing and cover the top of the container with plastic wrap until needed. Lay one of the lifesavers down flat on a piece of plastic wrap. Put a dab of Royal Icing on the edge on another lifesaver and glue" it in place (standing up) to form the pacifierís handle. Let the Royal Icing harden for one to two hours and remove from the plastic wrap, then put a dab of Royal Icing in the hole on the other side and "glue" a jelly bean in place to form the nipple. Do a number at once to improve efficiency. Three to four pacifiers per guest is sufficient.
  2. Royal Icing:

    This smooth, hard-drying icing is edible, but not recommended for icing cakes.

    1 tablespoon Wilton Meringue Powder or 1 egg white at room temperature
    1 1/3 cups) confectioners' sugar

    1/2 teaspoon of Cream of tartar (if using egg white instead of Meringue Powder)
    2 tablespoons warm water (if using Meringue Powder)

    Beat all ingredients until icing forms peaks (7-10 minutes at low speed with a heavy-duty mixer, 10-12 minutes at high speed with a hand-held mixer). This recipe makes 1 cup. Cover with plastic wrap as it will harden to rock-like consistency if left uncovered.

    NOTE: Keep all utensils absolutely grease-free for proper icing consistency.
    * For stiffer icing, use less water.

  3. If you are serving hamburgers, hot dogs, cold cuts or BBQ, take a pair of scissors and cut the tip from two or three nipples on some matched plastic baby bottles. Fill each with condiments like mustard, mayonnaise, catsup or BBQ sauce.
  4. For a Candyland Theme, Make lollipop signs from large (1 foot diameter or greater) Styrofoam circles and colored cellophane (available at Craft stores). For the lollipop sticks, use 1" white PVC pipe (available at either Plumbing Supply or Home Repair Centers). Make a hole in the edge of the circle with a knife and hot glue the stick to the Styrofoam. Then hot glue the cellophane to the circle to lead the way to the party or to decorate the walls of the party room. .
  5. To make a centerpiece for the Candyland theme, make a number of smaller lollipops in different sizes (use white painted dowels for the sticks). Next place a Styrofoam circle in a large colorful plastic bowl and shove the lollipop sticks into the Styrofoam. Cover the Styrofoam circle with an assortment of small wrapped candies.
  6. Have a guestbook for the party: Buy an inexpensive baby album and have a Polaroid camera loaded with film and ready beside the album. For those guests who wish to participate, take pictures of them in their baby clothes next to their caregivers and have them sign your guestbook. Hint: Have enough film to make extra copies of the photos so each baby can have a copy. Also, you can put an inkpad with washable ink next to the book and let the baby sign with his handprint. His Mommy or Daddy can sign his or her name or the host or hostess can do it for the baby. Put a tub of babywipes (with alcohol) next to the inkpad to facilitate cleaning babyís hand.
  7. The instructions for making an adorable Babyís Security Blanket Cake can be found at http://www.wilton.com/ri/Showers/blanket.htm
  8. If you are having a common childhood theme where you can buy plush dolls like Winnie-the-Poo or Barney, construct a centerpiece for the theme party by inverting a box, bowl or flower pot and draping it with layers of white or colored tissue paper, a lace doily, colored cellophane or fabric. Purchase 3-6 aluminum covered plastic helium balloons from a grocery store or a party store. Tie the balloons to a small heavy weight or tie each to itís own heavy weight (You can get used and bent lead balancing weights taken from old tires from any tire sales store for the asking. Otherwise, use fishing weights.) and place the weights in the middle of the centerpiece. Arrange a number of toy (plush or stuffed) characters that match the theme (vary the heights and sizes for the best effect to hide the lead weights. Lead weights are superior because they allow you to tie the balloons to a number of different sites, which allows you to make the illusion that the toys are holding the strings more plausible.) For best effect, tie or twist the balloon ribbons or strings around the hands (paws) of the stuffed animals so it appears like their paws are keeping them from floating away. In extremis, a small dot of hot glue will hold the string. The string will have to be cut away from the toyís hand with a scissors running over the fabric of the toyís nap after the party.

  9. Make a Baby Bottle Cake by baking a regular rectangular cake. Once it's cooled turn it on to a piece of cardboard covered with foil Make a paper pattern of a baby bottle and affix to the cake with toothpicks, then use a knife to cut down the outlines of the paper patter. Decorate the cake with frosting to look like a baby bottle. Hint: floristís foil is much more attractive than regular foil and will give your cake a more professional look. Be sure to wash it off before using.
  10. Instructions for an AB centerpiece Diaper Cake:

This non-edible "cake" is intended to be a "gift cake" from an ABís caregiver or a part of a "community" effort gift from his AB friends.

Make a base from heavy cardboard that is 1 inch wider than the "cake".
You Will Need:

1/2 dz. adult cloth diapers,

Three large plastic baby bottles taped together with Scotch tape around the bases.

Plastic or icing cake letters (that spell the babyís name)

1-3 pr. of lightweight plastic pants in the ABís size,

Small baby toys such as a baby rattle, a pacifier, a teething ring, etc) to stuff between the layers of the diaper cake. (Small containers of baby powder, baby lotion, baby bath, baby shampoo and tube(s) of diaper rash creams are also good.)

Several packages of white plastic-headed diaper pins.

2 dozen small white silk flowers.

A glue gun

Note: The finished "cake" will be approx. 9" to 1 foot high and 2 feet in diameter.

Construction:

    1. Fold diapers into thirds lengthwise and roll around the three baby bottles. Slightly overlap each diaper and pin together with a diaper pin.
    2. Tuck the plastic pants into one baby bottle and fill the one of the other baby bottles with diaper pins. If the plastic pants donít fit into a bottle, use them to prop up the group of baby bottles from underneath and secure with paper masking tape. Otherwise, fill two bottles with plastic pants and the remaining bottle with diaper pins. (If you have more than one pair of plastic pants than you can probably fit as many as three pairs in the hole if they are rolled up.
    3. For edging, hot glue inexpensive paper lace or real lace edging to the circumference of the cardboard circle.
    4. Pin white silk flowers to cake with white diaper pins
    5. Hot glue letters along with small toy alphabet blocks (available from Craft centers) spelling out the baby's name to a piece of white flannel fabric and diaper pin to the top of cake.
    6. Finish by stuffing small baby toys (a rattle, pacifier, teething ring, etc) between the wrapped layers of the diaper cake. Small containers of baby powder, baby lotion, shampoo and tubes of diaper rash ointment can also be stuffed between the layers.
    7. Dust the entire cake with a light coating of baby powder to give it the aroma of babyhood before it is placed on the table as a centerpiece/gift.

Step 10.) Games and activities:

Frankly, most babies are too disorganized for formal games. However, other games can work quite well. These are a few of my party ideas, more ideas can be found on our Website under games.

a.) Puppet shows with sock puppets can be entertaining and useful educationally if a caretaker(s) wants to address a common theme among the assembled babies such as "Give Mommy warning before you start playing baby after coming home from work!", "Get out of your adult clothes before you start wetting and pooping at home!", "Iím not just your Mommy, but your wife as well!", "No, you canít wear diapers to work!", "If you donít start acting like an adult when Iím being serious about our finances, Iím going to put you over my knee and give you a good spanking!", and "No, you canít have a teenaged babysitter when I go out, you need an older adult babysitter who knows how to handle you like Aunt Barbara!", etc.

b.) Book readings of favorite child and baby books by caretakers as described earlier above.

c.) A somewhat disorganized play such as group finger painting at a table using pudding-based paints and disposable, large, heavy-duty, white cardboard, oval serving platters as painting surfaces.

d.) Bubble blowing activities

e.) Jabbering contests: Which AB can sound the most like a real baby and still be understood by a panel of judges and/or their caretakers. The game should be organized by writing a set of baby needs (I want to be held, I need to be burped, I need to be changed, I have diaper rash, Iím thirsty, Iím hungry, Iím scared, Iím sleepy, Iím cranky, etc.) on 3 x 5 index cards. Babies are not permitted to talk or point, but jabbering is encouraged and permitted. After each round of elimination, the cards are shuffled and redistributed to the remaining babies. The last baby wins.

f.) FOR CAREGIVERS ONLY: A speed contest for how quickly a caregiver can undress, cleanse a babyís pubes and bottom, before rediapering his or her baby. Babies will be wearing nothing but their diapers (without plastic pants) for this contest. Disposable and cloth diapers will compete equally. It is suggested that this particular game be organized approximately halfway or three quarterís way through the party when most of the AB guests will have both wet and dirty diapers.

 

Moma Jennís Recipe for (alcoholic) "Motherís Milk":

Goatís milk has the closest taste (as well as protein/fat levels) to human milk of all other mammals. It is often given to babies who have an allergy to human milk. Sweeten (or not) to taste with Corn Syrup.

Mamaís caution: Although this drink can be sipped through a nipple, it has an absolutely devastating effect after fifteen to twenty minutes. Frankly, the effects of this drink are sneaky. Be very careful in dispensing this drink to ABs. Remember that under the laws of most states, the host or hostess of a party is responsible if a guest becomes drunk and has an auto accident. ABís should be allowed to lay down and take a short nap after two bottles of this drink.

6 oz, of fresh Goatís Milk (or Regular whole milk if you canít find fresh Goatís milk. Do not use canned Goatís milk!)

1 oz. Smirnoff vodka

1 oz. White Crème de Cacao liqueur (white chocolate)

1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon of Corn Syrup to taste (Optional)